Years ago, I spoke these words at a memorial service for a friend who had died tragically and suddenly. In my experience, it seems that these are the only kinds of deaths for my age group. We do not suffer from long and drawn out illnesses. We do not die of natural causes. There is only sudden tragedy. It is the most unwelcome of visitors and unfortunately, it has come knocking once again.

This article finds me in the midst of mourning the loss of a true character; one I was lucky enough to call a friend. If you’re a local, you may recognize the name Nathaniel Faus, a.k.a. Nate Goodspeed. If so, you’d know right away that he was no ordinary cookie-cutter person. He was born of an original mold; one that stood out defined amongst an army of Aberzombies. I imagine his life would have eventually made one hell of a story because I doubt there will be another like him. Sadly, we’ll never know because he was stolen from us on May 9.

I’m not about to spout Nate’s biography to you. I’m sure you can get that story elsewhere. You may think you already know him. If you truly do, then you should count yourself among the lucky ones. Still, there are many of you who only knew a small piece of him; one that you thought was wild, reckless or offensive. While it’s true that he could be all of those things (I’m not going to lie), let me tell you a few other things about him that you might have missed. First of all, he had a depth that was far from common. While you might laugh at the statement, calling it cliché, it doesn’t make it any less true. If he set his penetrating gaze on something that got caught in his eye, he would obsess over it. Things that you and I might miss or overlook had a very different effect on Nate. This made him an insanely creative person. These qualities shined in his perception of music. It truly became his life. I believe he experienced music with a clarity and an understanding that is hard to replicate or fake. This mindset allowed him to pick apart the underlying soul of a song; something that we might totally miss while we focused too much on mundane surfaces. He loved creating music and sharing it with others. In this way, he was able to influence a huge number of people that grew up around him.

The most important thing you need to know about Nate is that he had one of the biggest hearts of any person I have ever met. It was seriously huge. I think he had an enormous amount of love in him and it is a tragedy that his life was cut short before he could share the love with more people. He truly cared for those around him. While empathy can often be a trait we lack, it was Nate’s middle name. It amazed me to see how he picked up on what was going on in the core of a person while he could totally ignore his own shoes being on fire. It goes back to what I was saying about his depth. He was just plain genuine. When Nate paid you a compliment, he damn well meant what he said. He wasn’t faking it, as we have unfortunately come to expect when someone says something nice. Hold not your head
in your hands
The time for tears
has passed.
Stand fast, my
friends, against the
coming winds
For all things change
and we must change
with them. When you talked with him, he listed intently and actually heard what you were saying. It was far from talking to a brick wall, unless of course you were trying to dissuade him from doing something. Yes, he was unpredictable and occasionally out of his mind, but that was a quality everyone loved about him. Ultimately, Nate had the range of the ocean from tranquil waters to a raging tsunami.

The first time I actually spoke to Nate, I was on a bus riding home from school. We lived nowhere near each other and I have no idea why he was on my bus (he was like that). Actually, he was probably hitching a ride over to Colm Connor’s house via what he considered to be a big yellow version of public transportation. Anyway, he commented on the Jimi Hendrix t-shirt I was wearing, telling me how cool he thought it was. If I knew then that I would be writing this after attending his wake, I don’t know how I would have responded to the compliment. I just gave him a quick “Thanks!” and continued to stare at the back of the seat in front of me. While we later became friends, this is what I count as the start of it. He is probably the only person in my life that I am able to mark the beginning and the end of knowing someone. After all these years, everyone else just blurs into the “I’ve known them forever” category (no offense intended to “everyone else”).

When we lose someone close to us, we are always looking for an explanation. We are always looking for a place to drop the blame. In this case, there exists just such a place; there is no doubt in my mind. It is not his friends’ fault. It is not his family’s fault. It is not even his own fault. Nate went somewhere for help and was handed the exact opposite. Whether it is inexperience or carelessness, something went seriously wrong. Something is rotten in the state of Connecticut. It seems you can’t trust your life in the hands of anyone these days. Whatever uniform is to blame, I hope they will someday understand the amount of damage their actions have caused. Still, this is just an editorial piece featuring the opinion of an idiot. I am certainly no investigative journalist and facts are replaced with my own convictions and beliefs. Regardless, I can tell you one thing for sure. The hardest thing I have ever had to watch was a mother forced to say a final, tearful farewell to the son who was killed on someone else’s watch.

Chris the Ghostbuster can be reached at