There is a new home-run champion and his name is Barry ‘U.S.’ Bonds. ‘Barroid’ finally did it. After holding the sports world hostage for the better part of two seasons with his chase at history, Bonds belted number 756 and passed ‘Hammerin’ Hank Aaron on the all-time home run list. He did it at home, of course, in front of the only fans in the country that wouldn’t boo when the ball left the yard. San Francisco had it’s crowning moment; now they can all bury their heads in shame as they will be remembered for honoring the steroid using cheater of the game.
The steroid cloud that has lingered far too long over baseball has seemingly spread itself around the entire sports landscape these days. Everywhere I look there are negative stories emanating from the sports pages. Maybe that is what happens when greed and money become the overriding factor in a sports world that has everyone trying to get theirs while the games are turned into a form of entertainment.
Baseball has its cheaters, and football has its criminals. The only player in the NFL who was happy to hear about poster boy Michael Vick being indicted in a hideous dog-fighting case was Adam ‘Pac Man’ Jones. ‘Pac Man’ had been arrested five times before his sixth arrest led to the NFL standing up and suspending him for the entire season. He is one of many football players who are under house arrest from the league this year, as new commissioner Roger Goodell tries to keep the image of the league clean. ‘Pac Man’ will be taking his game to the wonderful scripted world of wrestling. Maybe that will get wrestling fans to forget that a star wrestler just committed a murdersuicide in a fit of steroid rage.
Animal lovers in Atlanta have unleashed the hounds on Vick. The sickening description of murderous treatment of pit bulls at the ‘Bad Newz Kennels’ in his Virginia mansion was too much for decent fans to take. They have taken to the streets with picket signs demanding his removal from Falcons training camp, as his many sponsors have begun pulling their ads with the megastar. Goodell has responded by barring the Quarterback from practice while the investigation continues. ‘Ookie’ is facing jail-time, and facing the fact that his career might be over. What’s worse, he is responsible for causing a racial divide in the deep-south city of Atlanta.
Fans of the New York football Giants were trying to get ready for a new season, one without T.V. personality Tiki Barber, when Michael ‘ The Gap Toothed One’ Strahan decided he wasn’t going to show up for practice on the eve of training camp. ‘ The Great Gapsy’ claims he is contemplating retirement. The G-Men are not labeling it a holdout, although it has been acknowledged that he asked for more money in the off-season. Never mind the fact that they obliged him with a front loaded contract that had him being paid extra early on. Now he wants some more extra change to cover the expenses of a bad divorce. The G-Men have said no, and they should hope that he decides to join Tiki in T.V. Land.
The Boston Celtics have been making big news with some big time trades, but the NBA still can’t stay out of the negative press columns. In what can only be described as a nightmare for commissioner David Stern, the FBI announced it was investigating and NBA official in a gambling suit. Stern is hoping that this a simply a case of one bad apple, but if Tim Donaghy had any cohorts in his possible point shaving scandal, fans will be crying that the fix was in. Many a game can be won or lost on the whistle of a ref, and even worse, many a point-spread can be covered or blown on a bad call. If the crime bosses are getting the inside info in Vegas, then all bets are off and the games become a complete sham. The NBA can only hope that the moves made in Boston will return the luck of the Irish, and the most storied franchise in the history of the sport will wash away the bad press.
Jose ‘Can You See Co’ is gearing up for another book tour. He appeared on a radio station in Boston recently stating he had “stuff” on ‘Ha-Rod’. Canseco claims that pretty boy Alex Rodriguez is a “hypocrite”, and that the squeaky clean image is not what appears. It might be worth pointing out now that ‘Ha-Rod’ did play in Texas with suspected steroid users Ivan ‘Pudge’ Rodriguez, Juan ‘Gonezalez’, and Rafael ‘It was Vitamin B’ Palmerio.
The Toronto Blue Jays don’t think that ‘Ha-Rod’ is all that squeaky clean. They finally enacted some revenge, by plunking the player in two consecutive games recently. The Jays were still steamed by the bush-league move pulled by ‘Ha-Rod’ in a game earlier in the season, when he yelled at a player trying to catch a pop-up. The plunking’s were followed by both benches emptying onto the field. One Yankee announcer commented that he had never seen a team come to the defense of its pitcher like Toronto did. It was apparently a unanimous opinion in the clubhouse that ‘Ha-Rod’ was deserving of a beaning.
Meanwhile, ‘Ha-Rod’ recently became the youngest player to hit 500 home runs in the history of Major League Baseball. The moment was of course commemorated by a collection of baseball bats highlighting the achievement for memorabilia collectors to buy and sell for a large profit.
A Mets fan that was on his way to Australia caught the record-breaking ball hit by Barry ‘U.S.’ Bonds. He was taking in the game in San Fran while on his layover from his flight. If he plays his cards right, he will be able to bring $100,000.00 with him on his vacation. I wonder what sports scandal might be going on down under.
